My Epiphany

I have struggled since quitting work full-time and staying at home with my kids.  I have really questioned what I should be doing all day long.  Wondering how much housework I should do, free time I should have, and play time with the kids.  It hasn't been easy, either, since my house is torn up and I have strangers traipsing through it trying to put it back together.  This week some things have clicked.  Not that I'm saying I have my act together now, but a light turned on.  I started to realize that I was being kind of dense and not seeing outside of the little box I put myself in.

One thing that has been driving me crazy is the kids, Kellyn in particular, go into our bedroom and play with things they shouldn't be in.  Frequently Kellyn gets in my purse and spreads the contents around the house.  At our old house the bedrooms were upstairs and we spent most of our time downstairs.  Now the bedrooms are on the main floor where we spend quite a bit of our time.  I was wishing that our bedroom wasn't so easily accessible.  Then it dawned on me that I was being kind of obtuse about the whole situation.  My bedroom has a door.  I can shut it and keep the kids out of the room.  Two days into my epiphany and I am a much happier person.  The kids leave our things alone and the contents of my purse are no longer scattered around the house.

I have struggled with knowing how much time to devote to cleaning our house.  How much time to devote to myself and how much to devote to the kids.  Yesterday morning I saw this post from a friend.  It IS a revolutionary idea.  For the last two days I've set an egg timer after breakfast and sent the kids downstairs to play.  I've spent that time cleaning and doing chores.  I'm able to stay on top of the housework and when nap time comes around I haven't felt like I should be cleaning or felt guilty because I'm not cleaning.  Thank you, Carmen!

Last night I started reading A Mother's Heart.  It is a book I heard about on another blog (yes, I spend some of my free time stalking people I don't know) and thought I might at least give it a chance.  I was a bit wary when I started it last night, almost putting it down at one point, but then something clicked.  It is fascinating and really has made me think.  My main role as a stay-at-home mother is to nurture and teach my children, not baby sit them.  I can't expect anyone else to teach them about God, right and wrong, or even letters, numbers and colors.  I am their teacher and they need to know that they are loved and cherished.  My selfish desire is to spend the whole day doing what I want to do and not what they'd like to do.  Today I was intentional with them.  While Kellyn napped this morning Aric and I played with play-doh and worked on counting.  When Kellyn woke up we sang the ABC's together. After lunch the three of us read books and played in Aric's room until naptime.  I didn't get much done, but I know my kids had a great time playing together.

After doing some quick cleaning and plenty of quality time with the kids today, it leaves me feeling guilt-free when nap time rolls around.  Now I have plenty of time to blog, stalk other blogs, or even take a nap if I wish.  I feel good about myself and the day we have had together.