Less Than a Week

In less than a week Aric will begin kindergarten.  He is completely registered at school and tomorrow we find out who his teacher will be.  Saturday he has an appointment for a haircut to make sure he's looking good for his first day.  Monday we stop by to meet his teacher, see his classroom, and drop off his school supplies.  Tuesday is the big day.

Last week I made his backpack.  I offered to order him a nice Pottery Barn backpack and he declined, instead requesting that I make him another dinosaur backpack. The backpack is in the process of being Scotchguard protected, but otherwise it is ready for his first day.

It is still hard to believe that Aric is almost a kindergartener.  Our lives are about to change.  Not only will he be starting school, but he will also begin his soccer season.  Last Saturday Ryan took Aric to a soccer camp.  At first Aric thought he and Ryan would be pitching a tent, making smores and spending the night.  Ryan had to explain that it was basically a soccer practice with all of the other children signed up to play soccer.  It was a good experience for Aric.  He definitely improved over the day.

These are photos of our orange-t-shirt-wearing-soccer-playing-soon-to-be-kindergartner during the soccer camp.  Enjoy those while I go hide from all of the upcoming change.

   

Quilt Blocks

I recently accepted a quilting challenge from one of my friends.  Although we do not live close by, we are working through two quilts together.  I am excited to be pushed and learn new sewing techniques.  The other bonus from this challenge is that I will have quilts made that can be used and eventually passed down in our family to future generations.

Last night I found myself with some free time after the kids went to bed.  It's been a stressful week with swim lessons and I needed to do something for me.  I decided to work on my blocks for this month.

One of them is the 2013 Mystery Block of the Month.  Starting this month I am mailed the instructions and materials to make a quilt block.  Next summer I will have enough quilt blocks to make a full size quilt.  The fun part of it is that I have no idea what the finished quilt will look like.  I know what fabric line the quilt is made from and that is about it.  It's kind of fun to not know, and not be pressured to make the quilt all at once.  The block didn't line up exactly, but it was a good learning experience for me.

The second quilt I am working on is a block of the month class on Craftsy.  This one is an online class, which is kind of nice.  I can watch someone else's techniques and learn from someone with more knowledge. I decided to make this quilt in black and white fabric that I had on hand.  I want to make this quilt using material I have rather than buying more.  I already have visions of using black and white gingham for the sashing between the squares. I had two squares to make for the first month.

Now I'll just have to hold myself back a bit and not try to finish the rest of the quilt in the next week.

Colorado

At the beginning of the month, Ryan and I went on a trip to Colorado.  My parents stayed at our house to take care of our kids, giving us four nights away just to ourselves.  It was our first trip away without kids, a weird, but wonderful experience.

We have had this trip in the planning stages for two years.  It was a big celebration for our tenth anniversary.  We headed to Breckenridge, CO, where we had honeymooned ten years ago, for a week of skiing.  Unfortunately the week before, I aggravated my knee and was having enough problems with it that I questioned the wisdom of skiing.  Thankfully there are other things to do besides skiing.

We spent time walking around the shops in downtown Breckenridge, we did some outlet shopping, saw a few movies, went snowmobiling, and snowboarding.  Yes, I said snowboarding.  In a moment of pure wisdom I decided after doing research, of course, that snowboarding would be easier on my knees than skiing. 

I've snowboarded before, but it was twelve years ago.  I stink at it, which I conveniently forgot just how bad I am at it.  I was reminded all too well.  We had fun, even went down some green runs a few times.  On our last run of the day I fell hard on my butt.  Really hard.  I remember sitting there for a moment or two trying to gather myself together and get back up.  It turns out that I actually fractured my tail bone in that fall, a souvenir from our trip that I could have done without.

In spite of that it was a wonderful trip.  Ryan and I were able to sit and talk, reconnect, and have meaningful conversations without a million interruptions from the kids.  I think it was a trip that we both will cherish.  And next time... I'll just go skiing.

A Lesson in Humility and Trust

Almost a month ago I had a booth at a local craft show.  It was a two day affair and it did not go well at all.  I went in with the mind set that I would sell most if not all of my bags, and make lots of money.  God had other plans.  The first day of the show was cold, rainy and hardly anyone showed up.  It was miserable, and I didn't sell one thing.

That night I came home and cried.  I was discouraged.  The week before I received an e-mail from someone on Facebook asking if I would be interested in selling my items in her seasonal holiday store.  I sent her a nice e-mail and declined because I didn't have the time or the stock.  I knew I was going to work the upcoming craft show and I was sure I would sell most of my stock.  When discussing with Ryan why I was crying, he mentioned the woman with the store.  I told him I couldn't go crawling back to her, begging her to let me sell my things in her store.

Late that night, I checked my phone and saw this on Facebook:

Another long day getting the store ready! When I'm done, I'll post before and after's but the before's are kinda scary so I want to AMAZE you :) Listen guys, I reallly, really, REALLY want Regan's Sweat Shoppe to be a vendor in the Manhattan store! I found her on etsy and she's in Kansas so head over to her page and check out her super FAB items and while you're there....tell her to BRING IT to Manhattan :)

I couldn't sleep.  I spent the rest of the night thinking and praying and realizing a few things.  When I started my Etsy shop I asked God to allow it to be fruitful.  I really like to sew, and I would love to do it full time someday when the kids are in school.  I would like it to help provide for our family.  I went to the craft fair without God.  I never once prayed and gave it to him.  I was so sure that I could do it on my own.  He used a very hard lesson to show me that it wasn't about me.

I decided two things overnight (well, beyond the huge lesson that God was teaching me).  #1- I wasn't going back to day two of the craft fair.  The weather was supposed to be bad, I really needed to help my husband prepare for Kellyn's birthday party that night, and God didn't support my participation in that particular craft show.  #2- I was going to contact the woman from Facebook and ask her to meet with me.  I had questions and I wanted to see the place where the store would be located.

I met with her the next day.  Ryan and I had made a list of some specific requirements that we were looking for if I were to agree to be a vendor.  When I met with her, she mentioned everything on my list without me having to tell her what we would like as our terms.  I came home, prayed about it and really felt a peace about the whole endeavor.  It's not easy to trust that everything will be alright, but I truly believe that God put this plan into motion.

Last Saturday was the open house for Fab Finishes.  The store is cute, still a bit of a work in progress, but that's okay.  I was told that I sold a little over half of what I needed to, to break even this month.  I'm okay with that.  I believe God is in control of this.

My Etsy shop is currently pretty bare, but that's okay.  I plan on putting it in vacation mode soon after I finish a few custom orders.  After the holidays I plan to revamp it and offer some new items.  I'd like to do more made to order items like these:

For now I'm adding a few new items to take over to Fab Finishes, working on custom orders, Christmas gifts, and trying to keep photos updated on my Facebook page of the items that I have and can make for people.  Beyond that I'm just trusting God that he has all of this in control.

The End of Summer

I, admittedly, have not been a faithful blogger this past summer.  These last few months were rather long and difficult for our family.  I'm thankful that the summer is winding down, fall is starting up and I pray for a time of peace for our family.

Most of our time was spent cooped up in the house avoiding the high temperatures and blazing sun.  Ryan was away for most of the summer on business trips.  When he was around I put him to work on projects around the house.  Sometime soon I hope to share those projects. 

I would get up and dance a little jig because it's almost fall, but I'm currently looking at this mess:

No, I am not jaundiced.  I haven't been able to wash my leg yet

I had my third knee surgery this past Monday.  Hopefully the third time is the charm.  I am pursuing a more aggressive course of treatment this time, in hopes that it will last longer. It would be nice to be able to keep up with Aric and Kellyn, because there seems to be no slowing those two down!!

This Summer...

We bought a new vehicle:

I am loving it.  The kids and I use it the most and it's been a lot of fun to drive.  I've never had a brand new vehicle before.  Of course, when you have a brand new vehicle it is more heartbreaking when someone bumps into it in a parking lot and gouges the paint. The one thing I am not fond of is the leather interior.  First of all, I'm not convinced that it cleans up better than cloth, and secondly, it gets pretty hot in the summer sun.

We said goodbye to the "Army school car" as Kellyn refers to it:

Kellyn was quite attached to that car.  She occasionally asks where it is and tells me she doesn't like the new car.  Oddly enough, Ryan and I saw the car a few weeks ago in the mall parking lot.  It was strange seeing it after we sold it.

We had fun at swim lessons:

Neither kid is swimming on their own, but they are both braver in the water.  We have been to the pool quite often and they both put their faces in the water and practice kicking around the pool.  They also like to "canon ball" into the kiddie pool.

We visited a "stompasaurus":

The kids saw him outside of a fireworks tent (or circus tent as they referred to it) and begged to stop and see him.  The whole time we were near him Kellyn refused to take her eyes off of him.  I think she was afraid he might use those sharp teeth on her if she turned her back on him.

We went on a trip to Minnesota to visit my aunt and uncle:

We had a wonderful time.  My aunt entertained the kids with play forts, butcher paper drawings, a wading pool, "talking" toys, squirt bottles and lavished them with her attention.  Ryan and I snuck away for a trip to the Mall of the Americas and Ikea.  We might pick a different time of the year for future visits to avoid the high heat and mosquitoes.

We found a full grown praying mantis in our garden:

We wondered if he was one of many who hatched in our kitchen.

Aric potty trained overnight:

It is nice to have him completely potty trained.  He is holding his "bananainator".  It shoots bananas everywhere (in case you didn't know).  It also means he has watched too much Phineas and Ferb.

Kellyn potty trained during the day:

I enjoy not having to buy and change diapers anymore.  It makes me sad that my kids are growing up and have left the baby stage far behind, but I REALLY don't miss the diapers.

I  am back seeking treatment for my knee.  About a month ago it started giving me problems.  Last week it became really bad and interfered with my daily activities.  I had an MRI yesterday and in a few weeks I go back to my surgeon to see what can be done.

I have been changing things around a bit in our house:

My sewing area was long overdo for an uplift.  I like the way it turned out and enjoy sewing in my newly decorated space.  And in case you forgot how bland it was here is a before photo:

...And that is what we have done, so far, this summer.

More Than a Glimpse, Part 3

You can always tell when I'm busy or not feeling well, my blog entries significantly drop.  Lately I've been busy with a garage sale, yard work, gardening, sewing, kids, and any other number of activities.  That was my excuse for the last month and a half; before that I was not feeling well.

I thought I was doing well.  It's humbling to write about how well things are going and in a matter of weeks have the whole train derail.  Ryan was gone for most of the month of February.  He had business trips that took him away; leaving me at home to deal with the kids, house and life.  I didn't handle it well.  At all.  I started to feel guilty, I had no patience and no idea what was going on.  I knew something wasn't right, though.

Everyone I talked to thought it was just a difficult month with Ryan gone, my brother's birthday, winter time, etc.  I questioned almost everyone who called my house for their opinion on why I was feeling the way that I did.  One of my flaws is that I tend to think I need someone else to validate my opinions and feelings.  It's not a good trait to have since it delays me from taking action on my own.

I felt like my medicine wasn't working.  I had no energy, I was irritable with my husband and kids, and I felt like a failure.  In my gut I knew that I was feeling the way that I had before I started taking medicine.  I knew that things were bad and something was wrong, but because of my need for validation I delayed making a doctor's appointment.

Finally after one of many arguments on the phone with Ryan, we decided that I should make a doctor's appointment.  In early March Ryan went with me to the doctor's office.  That's where we learned that sometimes the body will adapt to the medication and the dosage will no longer be effective.  The doctor increased my dosage.  The next day I noticed an improvement in the way I was feeling.  I felt like myself again.  Unfortunately the side effects returned and I slept the next month away.

It took awhile for me to feel like myself again.  Since having my medicine changed I have joined a gym, which definitely helps me feel better both physically and mentally.  I feel better and I have resumed my normal activities, but I know the road ahead of me is still a long one.  My depression went untreated for so long that I really did a number on my body and it will take awhile for it to heal.

I don't relish sharing such intimate details about myself.  I much prefer my privacy, but I feel led to share this part of my story.  Maybe my story will give someone else the courage to get help, or an empathy towards someone walking down this road.

Back to Sewing

People ask me how my business is doing.  It's coming along, but I took a two and a half month break from sewing, which kind of slows things down.  The break wasn't intentional, I'll explain it more another time, but it really caused things to come to a stand still for awhile.  I'm feeling more like myself again and I have a renewed interest in sewing. 

One thing I have wanted to make is a skirt for myself.  I found a skirt I really liked, but it was too expensive and she doesn't have many.  I tracked down the fabric, ordered it and set about researching skirt patterns.  I threw together about five different patterns and this is what I came up with:

I like it.  This coming Saturday we're going to a party and it will be the perfect place to debut my new skirt.

With a new interest in making clothes I decided to make a dress for Kellyn.  I don't know if you have shopped for toddler dresses lately, but they are expensive.  I found a dress I liked on Pinterest and ordered the pattern.  It was a quick project and I think the dress turned out well:

So well that last night I whipped up another one for her to wear:

I would love to make her some more dresses, but I probably need to find another pattern to use.  We can't have her wearing the same dress in 10 different colors!

I'm really enjoying sewing again and I can't wait to create more things.

32B and The Story of My Glasses

On Sunday I turned 33 32B.  Ryan had to work all day, but I had some wonderful friends who surprised me with lunch, ice cream and a wonderful time of fellowship.  The rest of my day was an exciting time of napping and enjoying the unseasonably warm weather outside with the kids.

My sweet husband made sure I had a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my birthday from him the kids.

I truly felt loved and appreciated by my family and friends who went out of their way to make my birthday special.

You may have noticed that I am wearing glasses in the picture.  It's kind of weird to be wearing glasses again, but they have helped me with the eye strain I was experiencing and I feel relief when I wear them. Sadly, I admit I'm wearing bifocals.  I was having problems reading things up close and far away.  All of the sewing wasn't helping either.  The eye doctor told me I have one eye that is nearsighted and one that is farsighted.  The only help for me is bifocals.  Thankfully they make them in the line-less variety so the general public doesn't know I'm wearing bifocals.  Except for the fact that I just told on myself.

I was self conscious when I first got them.  I felt like I was in sixth grade again and getting made fun of for having four eyes.  A month later I know how much they help me and I don't care what other people think because I can see better and my eyes no longer hurt.  Maybe someday I'll go back to wearing contacts, but for now I'm alright with the glasses.

Out of Gas

Last Friday I ran out of gas, literally, for the first time ever in my 32 years.  I'm not proud of it, normally I have quite a bit of common sense. which I usually listen to. On Friday I ignored it.  And that is how we found ourselves on the side of the interstate a mile west of the service station.  Yes, thankfully, or embarrassingly, I ran out of gas right after I passed a service station.

My dear, sweet husband, who we just picked up from the airport after his long business trip, got out of the truck, unpacked his running shoes from his suitcase and ran back to the service station.  The kids and I stayed in the truck watching him go.  He never made it to the service station, but instead came upon a highway patrol officer sitting on the on ramp of the highway.  I think they had a good laugh at our situation as the patrol officer gave him a ride back to our truck.  Then the highway patrol officer pulled a gas can out of his car and put in a couple of gallons of gas into our truck.  Ryan took over the driving to get us safely to a gas station.

And that is where I learned to trust my gut and not the fuel range the truck so inaccurately displayed.

Did I mention the fuel light never came on?

Things Heard Around Here

While leaving the movie theater after watching The Vow:

Ryan: I wouldn't do that for you.

Me: Yes you would and I know why.

Ryan: Why?

Me: We have a two year old and a three year old.  You wouldn't want to be stuck raising them all by yourself.

Ryan: Smiles

My sweet husband took me out on a date last night to celebrate my birthday a bit early since he has to work on my actual birthday.  He told me we could do anything I wanted.  I chose to go see The Vow.  We sat in the back of the theater (because it was full) and held hands through the entire movie.  I know I was smiling the entire time.  I don't often get to see a "chick flick" or hold hands with my husband through an entire movie.  Holding his hand reminded me of our "younger days" when life was so much simpler.

Afterwards we ate at a Japanese restaurant where they cook your food in front of you on the grill.  It was fun to go some place we don't normally go with two little kids and be different for a night.  The food was also amazing.  Since it was still early we wandered around Best Buy after dinner before we returned home to share a Boston Cream Pie with the kids and our friends who offered to babysit for us.

Thank you for such a fun night, Ryan.  I love you.

My Week in Photos

It has been a rough week around here.  It started Monday with Kellyn getting sick and slowly went down hill.  By today, Kellyn is on the mend, Aric broke his fever, and Ryan and I have been up since 2am with bad congestion and a three year old snoring in our bed.  

Here are some photos from my phone that were taken over the week:

We began teaching Aric to spell and write words.  This week he learned: mommy, daddy, bird, pig, dog and cat.

I managed to get some sewing done and added more wristlets to my Etsy store.

Even while sick, Kellyn is mischievous.

I caught her sticking little animals into the cords on the blinds.

Good thing the blinds are sturdy, thus far.

The living room looked like this most of the week.  Daddy had to work late all week and Mommy was too tired to keep up.

Aric was hit by the bug and wiped out.

The usual conditions I find myself in while sewing.

 I thought my sewing area was bad until I turned around and saw this:

This work of art was done last night single- handedly by Kellyn, who was obviously on the mend.  Aric was playing his racing game while this happened.  I had been sewing and Daddy was stuck at work.

And those are the reasons I haven't kept up with my blog all week.

More Than a Glimpse, Part 2

I honestly didn't think it would take this long for me to write this post.  I thought, when I wrote the first post, that I would write a follow-up post soon after.  I thought about what to write, but I think it is hard to write something when you are living it everyday.  I'm not saying that Part 2 is completely over, but I am beginning to think that maybe I'm at the tail end of it and getting ready to move on to the next chapter.

After I was diagnosed with postpartum depression I read three books on the topic:

Down Came the Rain introduced me to the topic of postpartum depression and made me feel like I wasn't crazy.  It didn't provide me with much help beyond that, but what it did do was spur me on to look for books written by people from a Christian perspective.  The Lifter of My Head was an extreme case with the author spending time on the psych ward.  While I did suffer from suicidal thoughts, it didn't get bad enough for me to need to be committed anywhere.  I sought help and strength and I received those and much more.  If I were to recommend any of these books it would be the last book I read, Living Beyond Postpartum Depression. It is a book that can be read by anyone; the person going through the depression, the spouse, family, friends, etc.  It truly gives an insight on what is being battled, why, and ways in which one can seek help.

My life looks completely different now than it did six months ago, four months ago, or even a month ago.  I was acting better, treating my family better, interacting more and actually living life instead of wanting to disappear from it all.  Part of it was me making changes, but most of it was the medication.  When I forgot to take my medication it was very evident the next day.  I was irritable, impatient, and the horrible thoughts that used to plague me returned.  At some point during the day I would stop to reflect on what was the matter with me and realize that I was off my medication.  Some times it would overwhelm me.  It seemed like I would never be able to get off of my medication.  A few weeks ago I again forgot to take a pill.  It was the first time that I realized I had missed my pill not by my actions and attitudes, but because I saw my pill still sitting in the case.  It gave me hope; hope that I might be able to come off of the medication at some point in the future and be okay on my own.

Six months ago I would not have been able to handle all that is going on in my life.  Starting a business of my own would not even have occurred to me, it didn't.  The stress would have been too great.  Somewhere along the way God has provided healing and renewal.  I feel like a better person and I feel like pieces of me have been returned to me.  I have so many creative ideas floating around in my head it's almost overwhelming.  Overwhelming, yes, but a good kind of overwhelming.  I have interacted more with people, made new, lasting friendships, and reconnected with old friends.  I could barely interact with my kids and husband before.

And now... I'm beginning to see the light in my dark tunnel and I'm ready to feel the sunshine on my face.

Always

After 15 years of togetherness, 9 years of marriage, 2 kids, and all of the ups and downs life together can bring; this man still makes my heart beat faster:

Happy Anniversary, Ryan.  I love you.  Always.

The Sweat Shoppe

When I made Kellyn's tutu I felt hopelessly lost in the craft department.  Everything that I tried to make did not turn out as well as it did in my head.  I was full of vision, but I couldn't translate that vision into reality.  Not long after the tutu mishap (which wasn't so much of a mishap because I remade it using less tulle and a ribbon instead of elastic) I went to a craft fair with some dear friends.  At the craft fair I was inspired, so inspired that on the way home we stopped at a fabric store to pick up supplies to make some things on our own.  The woman cutting my fabric asked what I was making, when I told her about my day and what I planned to make she said, "things never turn out and that's why we should just buy things at the craft shows instead of attempting to make them."  Ignoring the particularly snarky comment from the sales woman who apparently doesn't work on commission, I went home and proceeded to let my creativity flow.

I made two wreaths:

Made with gray fleece.  Bow not included and was removed after this picture was taken.

Made with burlap.

The wreaths were just the inspiration that I needed.  They made some long dormant part of me come back alive.  Those wreaths led to more wreaths, which led to scarves and pillows (yeah, I don't really question the direction my creativity took.)

Made with grey fleece and felt flowers.

Grey fleece pillow.  Crown Royal quilt made by Ryan's Grandmother- no you can't have it.

Unfortunately I don't have any photos of the scarves.  They were sewn using the hand-me down Bernina I was given.  It used to belong to Ryan's grandmother.

I have sewn off and on over the years, but have never sewn on a machine that I really liked.  I always had trouble with threading the machine, tension, attention span and whatever else could possibly go wrong while sewing.  Something happened while I sewed those scarves, I began to figure out the machine and get a rhythm going.  Then I realized I didn't mind sewing so much and wanted to sew more things.  While Ryan's parents were visiting over Thanksgiving his mom encouraged my sewing.  I told her that I was thinking about sewing a quilt for Aric.  For Christmas she bought me a table to sew on, since sewing at our dining table was a hassle.

My sewing/craft table

She also bought fabric and supplies for me while we were out shopping on Black Friday.

Fabric for Aric's new quilt.

I worked on Aric's quilt for awhile, but then put it on hold while I worked on making wreaths, scarves and pillows for Christmas presents.  (Sorry due to the camera being gone for repairs no photos were taken.)  I loved every moment of it.  I felt creatively alive again, a feeling I haven't felt in a long time.  It got me thinking... would anyone want to buy anything that I made?  My Christmas gifts were well received, either that or people were just being nice, but it gave me more confidence in myself.

That's when I found the pattern for these bags:

Ryan's mom was given one and asked me how to figure out how they were made.  They have a tape measure closure.  I found the pattern an enjoyed making them.  I began toying with the idea of opening an Etsy shop.  I had originally thought about craft fairs, and while I'm still not opposed to it, it would be difficult with Ryan's schedule and two little kids.  Etsy seemed easier, there is very little overhead and if it didn't work out as I had hoped all I have to do is close the shop.

With this idea in my head I began to work more in what I lovingly referred to as my sweat shop:

Located by my stationary bike and treadmill

Bags ready to be assembled.

Store inventory

A small ID wristlet prototype.

 My Etsy store isn't open for business yet, but I'm getting there.  I want to make a couple of wreaths, pillows and scarves.  I need to finish writing my shop policies, figure out shipping prices and all of the other mundane parts of running a small business.  I'll let you know when it's up and running and ready for business.

Then after that I'll return to Aric's dinosaur quilt.