Say Goodbye...

Say goodbye to this:

After being incredibly frustrated yesterday by the non-progress in putting our house back together, we received word today that the insurance company approved the contractor's bid.  My kitchen is about to drastically change.  Since two of the base cabinets received water damage, the contractor put in an estimate to replace all of the kitchen cabinets and counterops in addition to the flooring and the sheet rock work in the laundry room and downstairs.  I never in a million years would've imagined that one frozen pipe would lead to a complete kitchen remodel.  I guess it shows that God really does have a reason and ultimate plan for everything.  I'm a bit excited about the new kitchen and looking forward to implementing a couple of small changes that would make the kitchen a bit more functional.

I'll keep you posted on our progress!

My Epiphany

I have struggled since quitting work full-time and staying at home with my kids.  I have really questioned what I should be doing all day long.  Wondering how much housework I should do, free time I should have, and play time with the kids.  It hasn't been easy, either, since my house is torn up and I have strangers traipsing through it trying to put it back together.  This week some things have clicked.  Not that I'm saying I have my act together now, but a light turned on.  I started to realize that I was being kind of dense and not seeing outside of the little box I put myself in.

One thing that has been driving me crazy is the kids, Kellyn in particular, go into our bedroom and play with things they shouldn't be in.  Frequently Kellyn gets in my purse and spreads the contents around the house.  At our old house the bedrooms were upstairs and we spent most of our time downstairs.  Now the bedrooms are on the main floor where we spend quite a bit of our time.  I was wishing that our bedroom wasn't so easily accessible.  Then it dawned on me that I was being kind of obtuse about the whole situation.  My bedroom has a door.  I can shut it and keep the kids out of the room.  Two days into my epiphany and I am a much happier person.  The kids leave our things alone and the contents of my purse are no longer scattered around the house.

I have struggled with knowing how much time to devote to cleaning our house.  How much time to devote to myself and how much to devote to the kids.  Yesterday morning I saw this post from a friend.  It IS a revolutionary idea.  For the last two days I've set an egg timer after breakfast and sent the kids downstairs to play.  I've spent that time cleaning and doing chores.  I'm able to stay on top of the housework and when nap time comes around I haven't felt like I should be cleaning or felt guilty because I'm not cleaning.  Thank you, Carmen!

Last night I started reading A Mother's Heart.  It is a book I heard about on another blog (yes, I spend some of my free time stalking people I don't know) and thought I might at least give it a chance.  I was a bit wary when I started it last night, almost putting it down at one point, but then something clicked.  It is fascinating and really has made me think.  My main role as a stay-at-home mother is to nurture and teach my children, not baby sit them.  I can't expect anyone else to teach them about God, right and wrong, or even letters, numbers and colors.  I am their teacher and they need to know that they are loved and cherished.  My selfish desire is to spend the whole day doing what I want to do and not what they'd like to do.  Today I was intentional with them.  While Kellyn napped this morning Aric and I played with play-doh and worked on counting.  When Kellyn woke up we sang the ABC's together. After lunch the three of us read books and played in Aric's room until naptime.  I didn't get much done, but I know my kids had a great time playing together.

After doing some quick cleaning and plenty of quality time with the kids today, it leaves me feeling guilt-free when nap time rolls around.  Now I have plenty of time to blog, stalk other blogs, or even take a nap if I wish.  I feel good about myself and the day we have had together.

The One in Which I Preach

I know that I am not in control of every aspect of my life.  There are areas that I can't be in control of and should not be in control of.  I always struggle with allowing God to be in control, and that is something that I will probably always struggle with.  If truth be told, who doesn't struggle in that area?  One area of my life that I feel I can have some modicum of control is in my home.  I can make sure we live in a clean, well-ordered house.  Or at least I think I can until some disaster strikes and we end up living in a mess that I can't do anything about.

I admit, I have completely and utterly failed in the patience department since my washer leaked all over my kitchen floor, and I am not proud of it.  My kids and my husband have born the brunt of my impatience, mood swings and general irritability.  I am sorry for that because none of them deserve to put up with me acting like that and I have been quietly reminded of it time and time again by some not so gentle nudging.

On Sunday, Ryan stayed home to wait for the contractors to check the moisture level in our house while I went to church.  I needed it.  I needed the time out of the house and I needed the sermon, which apparently was written for me.  It was a sermon about how we needed to be godly not normal in all that we do.  If we aren't the ones showing others godly behavior vs what is considered "normal" behavior than who is?  We are to do this in the way we talk, the way we think, act, and the way in which we treat others.  The godly path isn't exactly the easy path and God pointed out the ways in which I've messed up and the ways in which I'm still messing up.  It's never easy to look at one's flaws.

If that wasn't enough, God prodded me more yesterday at a ladies bible study.  The majority of the time was spent getting to know the other ladies in my group and 15 minutes of our time was a short lesson.  It might have been short, but the speaker sure packed a punch in it.  She likened the last two weeks in her life to an out-of-balance washing machine.  It makes a lot of noise, but doesn't get much done.  She confessed that she had been in a bad mood, mad with her husband and mad with her kids and she finally realized the common denominator was her, not them.  Then she encouraged us to meditate on Psalm 139:23-24.

Search me, O God, and know my heart,

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

That isn't easy to meditate on.  It's like praying for patience.  God quickly revealed all of the offensive in me and it is quite overwhelming.

I think my husband said it best.  Sure, our house is a mess, we don't know when it will be finished, but God has an ultimate plan.  The timing and reasons for this happening are in His plan, and we are too small to see what that may be at this point.  Some day we'll look back and we'll know His purpose.  Which is always easier said than done.

Stepping Backwards

It started out as a good day.  I got up early, made blueberry muffins for breakfast and then gave Aric pancakes since he decided he didn't like muffins.  Due to the snow, Ryan didn't have to go in quite as early and we were a bit leisurely getting ready for our day.  After Ryan left for work, I started a load of laundry and the kids and I headed downstairs to play.  While downstairs it occured to me that it sounded like water was falling in the ceiling and walls.  I was a bit confused as I stood there listening to the sound, trying to figure out if that's how the pipes normally sound when the washing machine was on.  Soon I headed upstairs to check on the washer and that's when I discovered water all over my kitchen floor.  The water was gushing back out of the drain pipe for the washer, all over my floor, down into the floor vents into the basement.

I grabbed the phone, frantically called Ryan and told him to come home, as I ran into the garage to get the shopvac.  Then I vacuumed, and vacuumed, and vacuumed.  At one point I went down to check on the kids and that's when I discovered water was leaking down the sheetrock, out of the ceiling, and out of any vent, light fixture, anything that it could possibly leak out of.  Aric told me he was wet.  Sure enough, he must've been under one of them when it started leaking.  His hair was sopping wet and so was our recliner.

Ryan came home and helped me clean up the mess.  I called the insurance company.   Pretty soon the water mitigation company came out, the plumber came out and the restoration company came out.  They tore out sheetrock, part of my kitchen floor, cabinets, pulled back carpet, and my house now sounds like a wind tunnel with all of the fans blowing.  We're now discussing flooring and other options and my house is nowhere near being baby-proof.

I'll be glad when I can post more in-progress photos.  For now, I leave you with some photos of our steps backward.

Thankful

I've been more reflective, lately.  Probably as a result of my slower-paced life.  Recently I've walked around with a list in my head of more things I'm thankful for.

-My husband.  He loves me and puts up with me.  I've been a bit flakey lately, not quite transitioning smoothly into my new life.  It's hard going from working full time to not working at all, from being a working mother to a stay at home mother.  It's been interesting to say the least.  He's listened to me, comforted me, and been there for me.  Some days he's the only adult interaction I've had.  I know it's probably harder for him, too, but he hasn't complained one bit.  He installed a new kitchen faucet and a shelf for our phone yesterday for me.  I know he would've preferred to enjoy his day off and be lazy, but he took care of both without complaint.

I think they both look nice, if not functional, though I think the faucet almost looks like a bizarre sculpture for our sink.  I'm not complaining, it doesn't leak like the other one.

 - My kids. Some days they drive me crazy, but I love them dearly.  I'm so proud of them too.  When we picked up Aric from his Sunday School class his teachers complimented us on how well behaved and obedient he was.  It warms my heart to hear that.  Aric is such a good kid and loves his sister.  Kellyn is a delight.  She is so happy.  Since staying home with her I've noticed how much more she laughs and smiles.

-My home warranty.  We lived in this house less than a month and already that thing has more than paid for itself.  I was able to get new dishwasher racks to replace the rusty, broken ones that were in the dishwasher.  (Those things aren't cheap.)  This morning I realized our heater wasn't working correctly and the house was getting colder.  I had no problem calling the warranty company and they sent someone out right away.  He fixed the problem and we're warm again!  That warranty takes away some of the ease and worry that has accompanied home ownership.

-Our dishwasher and central heat.  When working properly they are fabulous to have.  We just moved out of an old house that didn't have a dishwasher or central heat.  The dishwasher saves my hands, which are prone to severely drying out in the winter and saves me lots of time washing numerous sippy cups.  The heater keeps us warm and toasty (most days).  They are fabulous luxuries and I am enjoying them!

-All of you who have given advice and listened to my seemingly endless conversations about potty-training.  Aric is now potty-trained.  It has been a long time coming and he still has accidents, but it's so nice to have one mostly out of diapers.  I now only have to wash diapers every third day instead of every other day.  Of course, now it means more creative planning for bathroom breaks when we have excursions out of the house.  It's exciting, though, and makes me proud.

Curls

In case you were doubting that this little girl is growing curls.

Here is a little proof:

Teamwork

With a little teamwork you can accomplish so much:

...or it can take twice as long to accomplish one small task.

Kellyn

Kellyn is growing up rather quickly.  Probably not as quickly as she would like, but quicker than I would like!  In the past three months she's grown two inches.  I'd be surprised except that I know how much she eats.  She is also quite talkative.  Some of her new vocabulary includes:

Baybee- baby

All dun- all done

Up-stays- I want to go upstairs

Down-stays- I want to go downstairs

Miwk- milk

Pweese- please- usually a request for more food

Sowee- sorry- usually said when she bumps into anyone or anything or falls down

Sitdown- I want to sit

We have had some problems lately with keeping Kellyn warm overnight.  She still sleeps all over her crib and it's impossible to keep a blanket on her all night long.  To keep her warm all night long we started sticking her in two pairs of pajamas.  It seems to have helped.

Layer one:

Layer two:

Those are some of her babies.  She's quite attached to her pink seahorse and likes to sleep with it and carry it around all of the time.

I've never cared for the large bows that people like to stick in babies' hair.  I'm not saying that I don't like any kind of hair decoration.  Kellyn is finally starting to grow more hair.  This flower lasted all of five minutes, but it was a fun, girly five minutes.  It's not very evident here but Kellyn is growing the same kind of curl that Aric has.  It'll be fun to have a blonde, girly version of those curls.

Today was her first day out in the snow.  She didn't last long and kept falling down, but I think Kellyn had fun being outside again for a while.

Kellyn's Snow Day; Life Imitating Art

Kellyn:

Randy from A Christmas Story:

When she fell, she couldn't get up either.

In Progress, Part 5

Living Room Before:

Living Room after:

We're still working on it, but I really feel like our living room is coming along.  My next project is to do some paint touch-up around the house this week.  Ryan and I have picked the colors for downstairs and I think I might start that in the next couple of weeks.

Snow Day

Yesterday marked our first snow of the season, kind of late, I know.  I take full responsibility for it, though. I prayed earnestly for the last couple of months that it wouldn't snow, that God would allow us to be moved into our new house before it snowed.  You see, Ryan's uncle mowed the brush at the end of the driveway out at the farm in early November.  It looked nice, but I was afraid that with it gone it wouldn't act as a deterrent for the snow to drift over the driveway.  It has happened before and my car has been stuck in it.  I could envision myself getting stuck and having to carry two little kids a 1/4 mile in the bitter cold to get to the house.  So, I prayed that God would keep the snow at bay and He did.  Whether it was truly because of my prayers or part of His bigger plan, I don't know, but we're moved out and safely in our new house no longer worried about getting stuck in the driveway.

The snow came and came and kept coming.  I think we probably have around eight inches.  Having gone to college in Minnesota I am quite aware of how small a number eight inches is.  Though it didn't seem that small when I was out shoveling the driveway yesterday.  I'm still paying for that today with some extremely sore muscles.

The kids enjoyed the view from inside in their cozy pajamas.   

Aric was pretty excited.

Kellyn has no idea what snow is and just watched through the windows as it fell.

After Daddy came home from work, Aric went outside with him.  Kellyn was still napping and missed the excursion outdoors.  I only took a couple of photos of Aric before my battery died and I went back inside.  I was still pretty cold from shoveling during nap time and just wanted to be in the warm house.



I'm not sure that we'll make it back outside to play in the snow today.  It's supposed to be a whole 12 degrees as the high.  A little too chilly for a little girl who refuses to keep her mittens on.  Maybe when it warms up a bit we'll make it back out to play in the snow.

Sidekick

Lately, Ryan has been pretty busy trying to get things done around the house.  He seems to have a little sidekick every time he tries to get something done.

A pretty cute sidekick:

Say Cheese

A couple of weeks ago the kids were given a plastic toy camera in a Happy Meal.  Ever since then pretending to take photos and "say cheese" have been common occurrences around here.  That means most of our photos will now have big, cheesy grins in them.

I think I'm okay with that.

Eight Years

Ryan and I met in high school during our Junior year.  His family had just moved into the area.  He intrigued me from the start but it was awhile before we started dating.  Then I broke up with him a couple of times.  By our senior year we had settled into a relationship and lived only a block away from each other.  After graduation he enlisted into the Army and I went to college.  That was difficult, but we loved each other and we both can be pretty stubborn.  We learned how to communicate through letters (actual written letters) and the occasional phone call with a phone card.  Not to date us, but those were the days before Skype and before everyone had a computer.

Four years later he had gotten out of the Army and moved to Kansas to go to college.  I graduated and moved to Kansas to end the long-distance part of our relationship.  We had to learn how to be around each other.  We knew how to communicate on the phone, how to communicate through letters, but we had to learn how to communicate in person again.  It wasn't easy but we decided we were in it for the long haul.  A year after I moved to Kansas we were engaged.

Eight years ago today we were married.

It hasn't been easy.  There have been days I wonder what I've done and have wanted to walk away, but I won't.  Ever.  He's the man I chose, the man I love, the one who knows all about me flaws and all.  We have been through so much together and have built a wonderful life together.

I'm so glad to have found him.  I'm so glad that I get to go through life with him.

Ryan,

Thank you for eight wonderful years and the many more to come.  Happy Anniversary!  I love you.

Always.

Regan

And in a lame moment.  Here are the lyrics to the first song we ever danced to.  They still hold true today.

George Strait- "I Cross My Heart

Our love is unconditional, we knew it from the start.

I see it in your eyes, you can feel it from my heart.

From here on after let's stay the way we are right now,
And share all the love and laughter
That a lifetime will allow.

 I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

You will always be the miracle that makes my life complete,
And as long as there's a breath in me, I'll make yours just as sweet.
As we look into the future, it's as far as we can see,
So let's make each tomorrow be the best that it can be.

I cross my heart and promise to
Give all I've got to give to make all your dreams come true.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine.

And if along the way we find a day it starts to storm,
You've got the promise of my love to keep you warm.
In all the world you'll never find a love as true as mine,
A love as true as mine.