Should I Mention...

**It took me all day to figure out those hyperlinks. I am so proud of myself (which probably makes me a huge nerd)!

**With a newfound perspective and a large amount of patience I was able to get Aric to breastfeed before bed. I approached it with the mindframe that I wouldn't fight him tonight.

I keep thinking about things I want to blog about and my list is expanding making it difficult to settle on just one subject.

Should I mention...

- A traffic light is being installed on my street. It may not seem too strange except I live on a rural road (You know- farms, cows, chickens). The traffic light is going up on the interstate exit, which no one ever uses unless they need to take a potty break. (No, there is no rest station. They use the side of the road and they aren't very discreet about it.) I'm not sure how that will work- will I be late for work because I was sitting at a red light all by myself? Am I allowed to run it if no one is around?

- Aric is currently on a nursing strike for his bedtime feeding. I think he is getting lazy because of bottle feeding and doesn't want to deal with working for his meal. I don't want to starve the kid and make him breastfeed, but I don't want to give in either. It's turning into quite the stressful situation for the both of us.

- Speaking of breastfeeding (because I know you want to keep hearing about it)- did anyone read the article on MSN about PETA wanting Ben & Jerry's to use breast milk instead of cow's milk to make ice cream? Yuck! I wouldn't want to be a consumer or a producer.

- Sometimes when I think about Aric, I think of the name Rudy instead of Aric. Rudy is my brother, who happens to be in his last year of college. I have experienced such name confusion with Aric. It all started with our last minute name changing the day before he was born. If we are ever blessed with another baby, I will not refer to the baby by a name while the baby is in utero. It becomes too confusing if there is a last minute name change.

-I think I'm going bald. I know I'm not, but it sure feels like it. I'm losing all of my pregnancy hair. When I brush my hair it comes out in clumps. I'm beginning to think I might not have any hair left when it's all said and done.

-Has anyone read Audrey Caroline's blog? What an amazing, strong, and godly woman! Angie's story has really touched my heart and made me want to reevaluate some areas in my life. More on that later...

-I use tearless baby shampoo as a cheap eye makeup remover, vinegar in the last rinse cycle as a fabric softener and the recipe/ratio for homemade laundry soap is: 1 bar soap (I use Ivory), grated; 1-1/2 c Borax; 1-1/2 c Arm & Hammer Washing Soda. (Sorry it took so long, Cristen. I know you asked for this in April. Thanks for the recipe, Kimberly).

...And that's about it, at least until I think of more things later.

Never Would've Thought...

I never would've thought I could spend an evening doing this and be perfectly content.

Sweet Times

While watching him hide in the mat, I felt like I an interloper in Aric's little world.

I love simple moments like these when nothing else matters.

Watching the Fish

Aric is captivated by the fish in our aquarium. We discovered this by accident. Sometimes we put him in his chair facing out the sliding door so he can watch things outside. He was in his chair, but instead of watching outside he discovered the fish swimming. He was entranced for a good half hour, following the movements of the fish with his eyes.

I really enjoy observing him as he discovers the world around him.

Stressed

Life is unbelievably stressful right now as we try to figure out God’s plan for our future. Ryan is still unemployed waiting to hear when he can return to work. His paperwork has been rushed, but since he is employed by the state it takes time even when it is “rushed”. Supposedly he is going to find out today when he can start back at work again. We hope they say next week, if not it could be another two weeks.

In addition Ryan is still trying to put together everything for his Army packet. He is waiting on one piece of paper to make it through the chain of command to release Ryan from the National Guard. Thankfully Ryan was able to secure a two week extension for this paper. Now instead of seven days he has another twenty-one to get this paper back signed. It stresses me out just thinking about it- I hate procrastination!

I know God has everything lined up and one day we will look back on this time and see that it all makes sense, but it is hard to keep walking this path when the tunnel is still dark at the end. Hopefully we will see the light soon.

First Haircut

Today Aric received his first haircut. We just had the sides and the back cleaned up. The sides were longer than his ears and the back was getting pretty bad. He looked like he had a duck-tail. The only sad part is that the ringlets on the side are now gone. It is just hair, though, it grows.

A Bit of Everything

-Ryan made it home on Wednesday afternoon. It is so nice to have him back. Aric even slept the whole night through on Wednesday. (I wonder if Aric can sense that things are the way they should be.) My grass is mowed again and I didn't have to do it. It's so nice to have a husband at home again.

-Last night I purchased winter clothes for Aric from Carrie's garage sale. (Thank you Carrie for letting me shop over the phone with you!) I am excited I was able to get such a good deal on clothes for my growing boy.

-We saw Ryan's dad last night. The visit went better than expected. Thankfully I had planned to cook spaghetti for dinner and I was able to feed five people without much notice. Not so thankfully I was left with an overstimulated baby up past his bedtime. Bedtime routines are very important to stick with!

-Thank you, Carmen, for watching Aric on Monday. I am awed that you watched two babies under four months, took them both to bible study with you and still found time to make homemade applesauce, which was delicious by the way. Let me know when I can return the favor!

-Thank you everyone else for helping me out and for letting me know that you would help if I needed it. It really meant alot to me.

-And in case you're wondering- Ryan won't be back at work until after the 4th of October. (Hopefully he will be back at work then.) They weren't able to fix his paperwork in time, but they are working on the process to rehire him. I guess it will give Ryan some time at home with Aric and time to get things done around the house.

Almost Home Again

I just spoke to Ryan. He said they are back in town and he should be home sometime this afternoon. I think he wants to watch the K-State game and have pizza tonight. I'm okay with that- as long as we are able to be together again.

Discovering

It is so much fun to see Aric discovering the world around him. He is growing up so quickly!

Just Another Day

I just kicked the cat out. I am not too sure yet if it will be for the night or forever. He has turned into such a problem and it has gotten old really fast. He is constantly jumping over baby gates, sleeping in the crib, getting into things he should not. It really is not worth the aggravation to have him inside the house all of the time. Maybe when Ryan returns he will save the cat from a lifetime of outdoor living.

I spoke with Ryan today. It looks like he might be home on Wednesday, which of course will not arrive soon enough. He said they were supposed to set out tomorrow and slowly make their way back home. Their itinerary seems really ineffective, but at least they have an itinerary to return home. It will be nice to have him around and be a two parent unit again.

Aric is going through an odd phase. The last couple of days he has been super clingy and very hungry. I am not sure if it is a growth spurt or just too much disruption in his life. Hopefully having Ryan home again will calm things down a bit for Aric.

Thoughts Down South

My thoughts are in Texas tonight. I am a Texas girl through and through. I grew up in San Antonio and have been to Galveston Island several times on vacation. It is so crazy to see the pictures and news footage of areas where I have been completely overtaken by water. I pray that those people who stayed behind for various reasons are safe tonight as Ike goes through.

My thoughts are also with Ryan weathering the storm in Louisiana. I talked to him earlier tonight. He said it has been rainy and the wind is blowing hard, but he is safe. He jokes about doing his duty and keeping Kansas safe from Hurricanes, but I know he is tired and weary. He may not think he is doing much, but I am proud of him regardless.

I love you, Ryan. Come home soon.

Melancholy

I sit here hoping Ryan might call again tonight. He is busy helping with hurricane refugees so the chances of that are slim. (I am thankful that he is busy and not sitting around with nothing to do.) It is difficult to go through each day when I am missing my best friend. I do not feel completely whole. We have been through separation before; six of our twelve years together has been long distance. We know what we need to do to keep communication open and our relationship thriving. However, it does not lessen how much I miss having him around to listen, to tease and to just be with me. I know even Aric misses him. You should see that little boy’s face light up when I hold the phone to his ear and let him hear his daddy. It makes my heart melt.

The Grass is Mocking Me

I am sitting here looking at the 2.5 acres of grass in the yard and I think it is mocking me. It has done nothing but grow with all of the rain. The rain forecasted for the next week is not helping the matter. My lawn tractor sits up in the shed disassembled with its cracked piston as a reminder to why it cannot be used. My push mower is now missing the pull handle because the dog decided to use it as a chew toy this past week. And the self-propelled mower is on the front patio, but I have never really used it and it scares me a little. I am hoping for yard elves to come mow my yard similar to the shoemaker’s elves. I think I will see if one of my neighbors will mow my yard for a fee and if that does not work then maybe I can rent a lawn tractor somewhere.

Beyond Frustrated

Ryan called me tonight after he found out their orders have been extended until the 25th of September. Now I have to find babysitting for another week. Everyone is beyond frustrated with the situation. He’s sitting down there doing NOTHING. They aren’t even finding work for any of them to do. I pray he will get to come home much sooner than the 25th.

Feeling Better

Aric and I have made it through two nights with him in his crib. It has actually been kind of nice to have him in his own room. I definitely have no plans to move him back into our bedroom. I like that we moved him while he is still little and does not realize that he is in a different bed in another room. I think doing this now will eliminate any future problems we would have if we had waited.

We have not received any concrete plans about Ryan’s situation. Rumors abound and none of them have come true so far. Ryan is currently bored, being eaten alive by bugs and is now sick since he shares a small building with inadequate ventilation and 60 other guys. Tonight he is pretty happy because he gets to go to an authentic oyster bar. It is ridiculous that they are still down there when the hurricane is not even headed in their direction. This activation has caused us time, heartache and lots of money. I hope he is able to come home soon.

My head is better. I definitely believe I had a mild concussion. For about two days I had great difficulty thinking clearly. It was rather difficult with a baby and working full time, but somehow I made it through. I still have some residual minor headaches, but nothing that I cannot handle. There is a round table underneath the staircase, which I have since moved over slightly so that it is harder to walk into that stair again.

Moving to the Crib

Tonight is Aric’s first night in his crib. He has slept in our room in his pack and play for the last (almost) three months. The weather is cooler now and he is no longer waking up every couple of hours (he will now wake up every couple of hours tonight since I just said that), so it seems to be the right time to move him. I think Ryan will be really glad to have Aric out of our room when he returns. Tonight was the perfect night to move him to his own room since I have to take the pack and play with me to the sitter’s house and I’d rather not disassemble it at 5 am. Hopefully we both make it through the night.

C for Concussion

Today at work I truly struggled and it was the first time I have felt nowhere close to being on top of my game. I have been a little off on days when I’ve been tired, but nothing to this extreme. Today I was having trouble focusing, couldn’t remember if I had done things or not and actually had to request that my coworker take over the main channel because I couldn’t handle it. I’d feel a little like a failure except my head hurts and I’m so tired. My supervisor suggested I might have a mild concussion from bashing my head on the stairs. Now that I think about it I can’t completely disagree with her. I’ve had a mild concussion before and felt just like this. Hopefully after a good night sleep tonight I will be in a much better state of mind tomorrow. Aric and I did manage to take an hour nap after we got home this afternoon and I feel a little better than I did earlier today.

(After reading this three times I think it’s ready to post, hopefully it makes sense!)

My Head Hurts

Ryan made it to his destination this morning at 5am. (That’s 11 hours for a 386 mile trek.) He was nice enough to call me and make sure I was awake. (I’ve been having problems turning off my alarm clock in the morning and oversleeping. Last night I set my alarm clock and his. Good thing I did, too, because it was his alarm that finally rousted me from the bed.) He slept about three hours today and is still waiting around to see what he’ll be doing down there. They have orders until the 16th, not to say they won’t come home earlier or stay longer, but at least we have an idea of how long it might be. In good news they have apparently fixed the paperwork problem at his work. When he comes back he’ll have a job to go to, which is a huge relief!

I smashed my head into our wrought iron staircase tonight. I thought it was just going to be a nasty bump until I set Aric in a chair to put a sweatshirt on him and blood started dripping on him. (Thanks Laura for making sure I didn’t need stitches and for holding Aric while I cleaned myself up.) Laura did laugh at me because my first concern after making sure I didn’t need stitches was cleaning up the mess I made of Aric’s clothes. I guess I’ve turned into a Mom!

Slow Going

Ryan has called several times today. He calls when they are stopped for refueling (which takes about two hours). I feel so bad for him. They have traveled at a rate of 14mph today. It is 386 miles from their stopping point last night to their final destination. (He made me MapQuest this during one of his calls earlier.) At this rate they’ll never get there and they’ll never get home.

Ryan has had the privilege to get to know his driving mates better over the past few days and they have gotten on his nerves. He has friends along on this trip; however, they are in a different vehicle. He is so tired and aggravated by his annoying driving mates that he didn’t have the energy to tease me with his sarcasm. Those of you who know Ryan will know how bad that is. He always has energy to be sarcastic and tease me. And in keeping with the traditions of his National Guard unit he has no clue what he will be doing when he finally reaches Louisiana.

And a BIG thanks to all of you who are helping me out by watching Aric. You have removed a massive amount of stress out of my life.

Update

Well Ryan came home on Monday night, but only to pack some more things, do some quick laundry and grab about four hours of sleep. He then left early yesterday morning and is currently driving down to Louisiana. I talked to him awhile ago and he is exhausted. They finally reached their overnight destination at 3 this morning and they are starting out again at 1 this afternoon and won’t stop until they are at their final destination in Louisiana. From there who knows what will happen, but rumors are flying that they will be there until Ike and Josephine come through. I have been scrambling to find sitters to watch Aric for the next two weeks on the three days a week that Ryan normally watches him. That is not an easy last minute task and right now I’m still looking for two days. If I don’t find anyone I’m going to have to stay home.

Ryan found out Monday night that someone messed up his paperwork at work and he is no longer employed. His immediate boss is trying to rectify the situation while Ryan is gone. In one evening our lives were completely turned upside-down. I trust that God is in control of everything, but it is hard to find peace when life has turned tumultuous.