The End of Leave

Today is my last day of maternity leave and I’m a little bummed about it. I’m not ready to go back to work, but it’s not something that another week or two off will solve. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to go back to work. I love spending my day with Aric even when he’s not in one of his better moods. He is just a joy to be around and I am so much in love with this little boy. I still am amazed by how much love you can have for someone so small. I am thankful that God blessed me with the gift of seven weeks at home with Aric. It gave me time to heal and time to get to know my son. He has grown so much in the last seven weeks and I love seeing him smile or try to suck his thumb. Time has flown by, though. I don’t worry about Aric. I know he will be in good hands and I am thankful that he doesn’t have to go to a daycare center. Hopefully someday soon I will be able to stay at home with him.

I am a little nervous about returning to work. I feel like a kid preparing for the first day of school. I have my clothes for the week laid out and ready to go. I have a checklist for everything that I need to do today. Returning to work terrifies me a little because I haven’t been there for seven weeks and I’m a little out of practice. Tomorrow I’ll be back on the radio, answering 911 calls, and doing whatever else gets thrown my way. For the last seven weeks I have been talking to a baby which hasn’t exactly kept my dispatching skills fresh. I hope that it will all come back and fall into place when I sit down at my console.

Thumb

He found it.

Thumb Sucking

Aric is desperately trying to figure out how to suck his thumb. Ryan and I are actually hoping that he learns how to do it soon so that he is able to self-soothe when he wakes up or when the pacifier falls out. The last couple of days he brings his fists up to his mouth and sucks on the side of them. He is so close to figuring it out and saving us trips to the crib at night to put his pacifier back in his mouth.

Smile

How great is that?!?

Cow in the Yard

We live out in the country and see all sorts of things. Still I never expected to look out the window and see a cow in the front yard. Good thing we have a "guard" dog.

Cleared to Resume Normal Activities

I’m sitting here listening to Aric cry. Poor little guy, but he really doesn’t want anything from me. He is in a phase (at least I hope it’s a phase) where he likes to cry between 5pm and 10pm. (At least it’s not 10pm to 5am as my Dr. mentioned today.) It’s just hard listening to him cry it out. I might try to take him on a walk in a little bit.

A bit of fun news- Aric is smiling more and more these days. It is so nice to see that little smile because it just lights up his whole face. We have also started putting him in front of a mirror. It’s so cute to see him smile at his reflection. Too bad I haven’t been able to catch any of this on camera.

Today I went to the Dr. for my six week checkup. I’m cleared to resume normal activities. I’m a little bit excited about that because I’d like to exercise again and get back into shape. How did I celebrate? I mowed the grass. It wore me out. I haven’t done that much physical activity for the past 10 months. It definitely made me feel that I have a long way to go before I am anywhere close to the shape that I used to be in.

My appointment today made me realize that my maternity leave is ending too soon. I have to return to work a week from this coming Friday. I know Aric will be in great hands while I’m at work, but the thought of not being there for him is really difficult to come to terms with.

Speaking of being there for him…. I think we might try to go on that walk now.

More baby stuff, because that's all that is happening in my life.

This morning Ryan called and let me know that there was a great sale on kid’s clothes at JCPenney this week. I didn’t intend to go to town today, but decided to make the trip. What an amazing sale! I bought Aric several outfits that will fit him next summer for $1.97 each. Those deals were just too good to pass up and I am thankful that Ryan’s coworker let him know about the sale.

Ryan and I were talking about Aric’s cloth diapers yesterday (yes, our lives are that boring). Ryan mentioned how much he actually didn’t mind them and how wary he was of them when I first announced a desire to use them. I was reminded Sunday of how much I liked them and how I can’t believe the amount of trouble disposable diapers are. I had Aric in disposables because it was washday and I had waited too long to wash the diapers and run out of them. Right before we left to go out I changed Aric, then I changed his outfit, then I changed my outfit. It seems every time he is in a disposable diaper this happens to us. If you want to see the diaper system that we’re using you can view them at www.mother-ease.com

We took Aric to the movies with us yesterday. He’s getting to the point where he’s too unpredictable now. The first time we went to the movies he slept quietly through the whole thing. This time he woke up twice and I had to take him out. I missed a good chunk of the movie and needed Ryan to fill me in. I think from now on we’ll have to get a sitter or wait until we can rent the movie.

Motherhood

I'm just not quite used to being a mother. It hasn't quite clicked yet that sometimes Aric just wants me. Ryan woke me up from a nap today because Aric was crying and wouldn't stop no matter what Ryan did. It wasn't time for Aric to eat so I put his pacifier back in his mouth, settled him against my shoulder and he fell right back asleep. I know that eventually he'll want his daddy and not need me, but right now I'm the familiar one. I guess it goes back to that nine months of close proximity!

Healthy Boy

We went to see the Pedatrician today. For someone who doesn't eat very well and appears to spit half of it back up, Aric is doing really well. He measures 23-1/2 inches long (which is in the 90th percentile) and weighs 11lbs 12.7 ounces (which is the 60th percentile). It was reassuring to know he is growing and doing well and that I'm not a terrible mother just because he won't eat like a textbook case!

Unexpected Blessings

Today I feel blessed and reminded of how amazing God is. It was a day of the unexpected for us.

My sister-in-law left this morning and I was sad to see her go. She was just here for an overnight trip and it was nice to spend time hanging out with her. We have never had the opportunity to bond like this and I am glad that we were able to. She cleaned, cooked and held Aric. She even left us today with dinner in the CrockPot. I’m not sure if she realizes how much she helped out, but I am so thankful for her. I’m glad that she was able to make the trip to meet Aric and we’ll definitely have to visit them sometime soon.

I left the house today to run some errands feeling happy from the visit with my sister-in-law and just feeling blessed by all that she had done for us. I went on post to run some errands and ended up at the PX. I was in the shoe department looking at some running shoes when a couple came up to me and started talking to me about Aric. They handed me some cash, told me it was something they periodically did for families, said “God bless you” and walked away before I could say anything. I was a little shocked and overwhelmed by the generosity of strangers.

My husband called this afternoon and I relayed the story. He was shocked by my story and proceeded to tell me why he had called. Apparently HR messed up when they processed his paperwork and they’ve been paying him $2.00 an hour less than what they are supposed to pay him. His future paychecks should reflect this change and next month he should receive the back pay. Neither one of us was expecting this.

I’m just awed by the things God does to remind us that He is there taking care of us.

The Army and Snakes

We went to the Army Recruiter’s office the other day. Ryan talked with a recruiter about going back into Active Duty. Ryan has a huge to do list now and some paperwork to turn into his National Guard unit to get released. It’s going to take time- a lot of it, but we’re starting the process. Right now it just seems to be the best option for us and I can’t say that either one of us is upset by it. We both grew up as Army brats so it’s a life that we are very familiar with and one that we think would be good for our family. By the end of the year our lives could look completely different!

The other day Ryan asked me if I wanted to see something gross. I’m always unsure of what it could be when he says something like that, but I reluctantly followed him outside. There is a three to four foot long snake skin hanging from a tree right next to our upstairs porch. I’d take a picture of it but I’d rather not get that close to it. I grew up in Texas so I know the best kind of snake is a dead snake. I’m very aware that snakes are all over the place, but I would rather not see signs that they exist. I am seriously hoping that snakes don’t shed their skins in trees. I’m hoping that the wind blew that snake skin into the tree. Otherwise there is a snake that is bigger than three to four feet hanging out in my tree.

Mad Dog

Actual conversation from the other night:

Ryan: When is Mad Dog getting here?

Me: Mad Dog?

R: Yeah Mad Dog V-

M: Michelle? Wednesday. Why are you calling her Mad Dog?

R: Her initials are M D.

This whole conversation was based around me leaving my sister-in-law's e-mail address lying around. I have no idea where he comes up with these nicknames for people. She is one of the sweetest people you would ever meet. Now I'm kind of wondering if she'll be showing up on a Harley with a name like that!

Back to Church

This morning we went to church. It has been far too long since we've attended. We kind of quit going to church at the end of the year for a couple of reasons. The first being that my schedule at work has me working every Sunday from 7-3 and the second was that we weren't happy with the direction that the church we were attending was taking. I had gone a couple of times to a new church with a Saturday night service, but due to Ryan's work and school schedule I was attending by myself. It became harder for me to attend the more worn out I became in the pregnancy and I really wasn't up to deciding if I liked this church without Ryan's input, so attending church fell by the wayside, sad to say. After Aric was born Ryan and I discussed going to this new church to decide if we liked it or if we needed to look elsewhere. Today was the first morning that we went. I must say it felt good to be there even if I did have to take someone to the cry room in the middle of the service. We have a couple more Sundays before I go back to work to attend and then we'll switch to the Saturday night service. We did meet some friends at church this morning and went out to lunch with them afterwards. It was nice to get out with and enjoy adult company. We've holed up in our house too long by ourselves.

Ryan has taken to calling Aric "Wheezy." The name actually fits. Aric makes the weirdest noises when he's sleeping and when he's waking up. In the middle of a church service they can be embarrassing. It's pretty cute, though. We're finding so much about him as he gets older and more alert:

-I've seen him roll over so I know he can do it. We have to be really careful where we set him now.

-He is getting pretty good about holding his head up. It won't be long before he can do it on his own.

-Milk comes out his nose. That one is kind of gross. I'm hoping he's not one of those people who can thread a noodle through their mouth and nose.

-He smiled yesterday at Ryan in response to Ryan's smile. I'm kind of jealous that it wasn't at me since I'm the one who is home taking care of him all day long.

Milk and Ice Cream

On a whim for the past two days I quit drinking milk and eating ice cream to see how it would affect Aric. I'm beginning to think that maybe it is helping to make him a happier baby again. He is able to go to the bathroom without screaming and I haven't used the medicine much. In fact yesterday I only used it once in the evening. Aric has been sleeping better and so have we. We're all a little happier. I'm not really positive that it is the milk and ice cream, but I guess I will do a little experimenting to see what happens. It will be sad if I have to give up ice cream again.

Screaming Meemee

It has been awhile and I’m sorry to all of you who keep checking. Things have been a little crazy the last couple of weeks. Aric’s demeanor has changed a little and he’s not the same easy-going baby. Hopefully we can figure out what is bothering him and bring back that happiness.

I let him cry it out this morning. It was tough, but I knew that he was fed, clean and taken care of, besides I had things to do that did not involve holding a baby. He actually did cry it out and when I was ready to free him he was lying in his crib not crying. I freed him and we went out on a walk this morning with the baby jogger. (Thanks Dad and Mom.) It was so nice. The baby jogger has music on the move so I plugged in my MP3 player and we listened to one of Ryan’s mellow playlists while we walked. Aric fell asleep by the time I got to the end of our driveway, but I kept walking (a mile and a half total). It was nice to enjoy the morning, never mind the mugginess. Everything was so peaceful and I felt a little renewed and refreshed which is much needed after the last couple of days. I really can’t wait until I’m cleared to actually use the baby jogger for jogging. …And Aric, he’s still sleeping in the baby jogger.

Poor Aric. He’s been uncomfortable and I haven’t really known how to help him to feel better. I called the pediatrician the other morning to make sure that he was alright. He’s been eating for five minutes every 1 to 2 hours the past three days and he screams when he has to go to the bathroom. The first may be normal, but I know the last isn’t. We put him on some gas medicine which has helped about two-thirds of the time. I’ll have to call back today and see what they say. I just feel so bad for him. Yesterday was especially tough. He really didn’t nap all that much during the day and by last night he was exhausted and so was I. Ryan came home and quickly realized what my day had been like. I finally got Aric to sleep by 9:30 and he slept until 1 and then until 3:30 and until 5:30. Last night was so much better than waking up every 2 hours. Hopefully last night is a sign that today will be much better.

My mom has been reassuring me that this is all only a phase and that it will get better. She reminded me that my younger brother had colic and that every night we would all go on long walks to put him to sleep in the stroller. While I don't think Aric has colic, I know that the last couple of days have not been pleasant. Last night while he was crying, out of the blue I remembered the phrase "Screaming meemee." That's what my older brother and I called my younger brother when he was crying.

Lawn Mowing Woes

We have about 2.5 acres of grass to mow around our house. We use a lawn tractor and take care of the mowing in a decent amount of time. This summer, however, the lawn tractor died. My husband was midway through the yard and we heard a loud sound as if he had struck a rock. Then the tractor wouldn’t start again. The thing is only five years old, so this was a little unexpected. I took the tractor into a local lawn mower replacement shop that we have used many times before right before I had Aric. Normally they fix everything and give you a call afterwards. This time for some reason I felt led to let them know that we would like an estimate.

About a week or so after we had Aric, they left a message that they believed the engine had seized and a new engine was going to cost $1200. Upon further prodding, I found out that the technician that had looked at the tractor hadn’t even taken the engine apart. We decided that the estimate was too much and my husband picked up the tractor. Since its return home, my husband has slowly taken the engine apart. His discovery: a broken piston rod not a dead engine. All we need now is a couple of new pistons and the engine put back together and hopefully the problem will be solved. In the meantime, my poor husband has been push mowing our entire yard. I feel bad because I’m still not cleared to help him with the massive project. Maybe by the end of the month I’ll be able to help him or maybe the tractor will be fixed and usable again…