A couple of days ago I changed my Facebook status to:
"Regan doesn't like dropping Aric off at daycare because he cries and breaks her heart!"
It's true, Aric is going through separation anxiety and doesn't like it when I leave. When we first walk into Ms. Autumn's house and I set Aric down to take off his coat; he tries to climb into my arms and clings for dear life. I have to either turn his attention to some toys or Ms. Autumn will take him from me. Either way Aric will cry when I leave him. I know he's going to be fine. In 5 seconds he probably forgets I even left and is too busy playing. It's hard, though, leaving him everyday while he's crying.
Someone wrote a response to my comment:
"I hated those days...now I get "Mommy you need to go" It will get better."
I hate being told that "It will get better." It won't ever get better. It may get easier for some people, but I yearn to stay home and raise my son. Right now it's not an option and I have to break my heart a little everyday when I leave him in the morning. It's not just him crying when I leave that bothers me, it's all of the things that I'm missing out on that I'll never get back. Aric is already 10 months old and I feel time is flying by and I'm missing out on so much. All I can do right now is pray that something will change.
And don't try to find out who posted the comment on Facebook. I've removed it to protect her privacy. I know she meant only the best when she posted it. It just really hit a nerve when I read it.
3 comments:
Its hard for me to drop Avery off too b/c all I ever wanted is to be at SAHM. I know she's in good care though and, most importantly, I know she is loved where she is at. For me personally, there are days that are worse than others. I keep telling myself that one of these days I'll be able to do my own daycare and have my baby with me everyday!!!!!
So you can do what I have done for now...I am now working at a daycare that Brody will be going to. I will get to see him while I am at work (although at this time he will not be in the same room with me). The only thing that REALLY sucks is the pay cut I took when accepting this job. I go back and forth of wanting to do in-home daycare. I am thinking about applying at the CDC sometime in the future if I don't do in home. They pay a lot more. So granted it is not a stay at home mommy, maybe you could be closer to him while making money ; ).
I totally understand though. Brody doesn't have that seperation anxiety...I DO. I also hate not being able to take and pick up Kaden from school...he has to ride the bus now :(. I wish stay at home mommies made money...wouldn't that be the best!!!
I can only imagine how hard it must be to focus at work when your heart longs to be spending the day with your son. Thinking of you...
P.S. Tell Ryan not to blame his late night out on me. :)
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