Six Months

Dear Ryan,

It's been six months today.  I might not have realized it as fully as I did had I not had to fill out a time sheet yesterday at work and write down today's date.

Six months... so long, so short.  At times it feels like just yesterday and at other times it seems like forever ago.  How many times have I reached for the phone, tried to send you an e-mail, thought of a million and one things you would've laughed at. 

I have so many things to tell you, so much you've missed out on.  I miss you so much and yet I know you're happy right now and in a much better place.  You worked so hard and deserve the rest and peace that you have now.  I'm just being selfish wanting you to still be here and available for me.  I can't help it, I'll always want you around.

I still wish I would've called you more, listened more, and given you more of my time.  It's so easy to let life get in the way.  I'm trying hard to change my habits, but some days they're just easier to keep.

What's new with us, well, I gave my notice at work.  My last official day there is December 31, 2010.  I technically will quit being full time and switch over to part time.  Part time just means that they may call me and ask me to fill in or work a shift here and there and I'll either work it or tell them I'm not available.  I'm glad to have an end in sight.  Ryan is going to let me stay at home for awhile and just be a mom.  I'm truly thankful to have a husband who is generous and looks out for me.  I know it won't be easy being a full time stay at home mom, but I'm looking forward to having that precious time with Aric and Kellyn. They're only little once.

Aric is doing well.  He's same and yet different.  We have really begun to see glimpses of his imagination in action.  He'll pretend forks are jets or try to get me to cut open the back of a toy truck with scissors so he can pretend it's a semi to carry his car.  He's learning numbers and shapes right now.  Aric is terribly polite and receives compliments from Ms. Autumn on how well he says "please" and "thank you".

Kellyn will be 1 on Tuesday.  It's hard to believe my baby is growing up this quickly.  It makes me sad since she is truly my last baby.  Kellyn is walking all over the place.  Ryan thinks she looks like a monkey the way she walks and bobs from side to side with her hands in the air.  I know you'd get a kick out of that.

Ryan and I have been busy working, taking care of the kids and trying to find a house. We actually have an appointment today to go look at three of them.  I didn't realize how time consuming and exhausting house hunting would be.  I know God has a plan, though, and we'll know it when we see the house for us. 

I miss you, Ryan. I hope you know how much you are missed and loved.  Kiss my babies for me and keep building those castles.