Balance

"Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls- family, health, friends, integrity- are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life."

- James Patterson from "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas"

Right now my life is lacking balance brought on by a huge lack of time.  I love being a mom, but I'm having trouble managing my time, sleep, and schedules with two little ones especially since returning to work three weeks ago.  I know part of it will come with time as Kellyn gets bigger, sleeps through the night and maintains more of a set schedule.

I have a list of projects I want to accomplish, books I want to read and things I want to organize.  Right now it's just a mental list because I haven't even had the time to write it down.  I find myself wistfully daydreaming about what I would do with my free time if I only had some.  Too bad the only multi-tasking I can do during my commute to and from work is daydreaming.

I'm afraid my glass balls are getting manhandled a bit more than they should be.  I can only hope they will survive until I can improve my juggling skills.  I wish I could take my rubber work ball and throw it off of a high cliff.  Then maybe it wouldn't ever bounce back high enough for me to be able to catch it.

Truthfully I'm so exhausted I'm not sure that my thoughts are coming across in the way that I want them to.  My wish for the New Year is to find balance in my life and maybe a little free time to keep me from going crazy.