Reflective

Reflective- that's how I feel today. Two years ago today, Aric was born followed by an F4 tornado. At times it's hard to believe he's already two and other times it seems that he's always been a part of our family.

After two miscarriages I wasn't sure we would ever have children. When I found out we were expecting Aric I gave God control of my pregnancy (not that I ever had it in the first place). After thinking there was a huge possibility that I would lose Aric early on, I came to terms with losing yet another child and took my pregnancy day by day because that's all I could handle. God had different plans for us, though, and Aric grew inside of me. I felt more confident as the months passed and genuinely looked forward to the fulfillment of my life-long dream to be a mom.

Two years ago I checked into the hospital, a week before my due date, to be induced. I was nervous facing the unknown outcome of the day. I'd heard horror stories of being in labor for days, the pain of pitocin, the pain of labor, etc. My labor wasn't easy. I had back pain, front pain and was starving through the whole ordeal. It's funny how you remember the weirdest things or maybe I was just that hungry. After 13 hours and no progression for the last 4, I came to a fork in the road. I chose to overcome fear and have a c-section rather than allow the doctor to screw sensors into my baby's head to monitor contraction levels for another couple of hours. (That still sounds barbaric to me.) It was scary being on the operating table, but I'll never forget the sound of Aric crying (or Ryan's descriptive play-by-plays of my operation). I cried when I heard and saw my son. It seemed unreal to finally have a child of our own. I was terrified to have such a responsibility in my life, but at the same time cherished every feeding, every diaper change and every little snuggle.

Fast forward two years and I no longer have a little baby. I have a little boy. We've had our ups and downs; days that I've wanted to go on forever and days that I've wanted to give him back. Aric is a complete joy, though. I thank God for every day that we have with him. It is fulfilling to view the world through his little eyes and again see the joy in a puddle of water, a dirt pile, or pushing a stroller up a hill and allowing gravity to take over and the stroller to chase you back down the hill. I can't describe the way my heart melts when he calls me "Mommy" or wants to cuddle with just me. He is truly a delight.

Happy Birthday, Aric! Enjoy your day.